You Make Me Live

Elaine - August 19, 2010 - 12:43 pm

We didn’t consciously put Harper on a schedule when she was first born. She ate and slept whenever she wanted and that worked for us. I think it helped make her into the easy going/go with the flow kid that she is. When she started baby school (at 1 year old), they had set times when the kids ate and slept. We try to match that schedule at home and now we have a set bedtime too. It seems to be working well for her and us. I think we avoid a lot of typical 2 year old issues because she knows what to expect. It’s not something we had a strict plan for, but it’s evolved into something that works well for our family. And, really that’s the most important thing. You have to find something that works for you.

Margi - August 19, 2010 - 12:53 am

Judging by most people’s comments, we start out as scheduled parents and let it go as more kids come along! My first (now 7) was a bottle baby so it worked to schedule a little more. He had 10 hour nights and 4 hours naps and ate every 4 hours on the button! Our 2nd was colicky and there was no scheduling… it would’ve been impossible with all his crying; he’s now almost 5 and a well-adjusted little kid. Now our 3rd (I think I was due the same day as you? He was born April 10, 9 days early) is exclusively breastfed and it’s completely on demand. Like you say, his nights and naps are very erratic; I can’t depend on anything! He eats every 2 hours, give or take and I think it’s awesome. I used to say you had to have a strict schedule but my first was just enough laid back that it worked. Some kids need it, some are ok without. Do what you feel is right; if this is working for you, don’t feel you need to change! :) Part of it is just the whole learning process of parenting… feels like with 3 I’m finally catching on to what works and that mother’s intuition is finally really kicking in… :)

Kristen - August 18, 2010 - 8:19 pm

Just my view as a very involved Aunt – we were very strict with my first born nephew which was great because we knew when he would be napping, eating, etc. When my niece was born all schedules went out the window {my sister found herself being a single parent} BUT it was just as easy to schedule things because she would nap when she felt like it, maybe in the car or in my arms, but she napped. Now that they’re 3 and 5 you really can’t tell which one was on a schedule and which one wasn’t. I think it’s what works best for you and your family. Plus – life is rarely routine, so you’re introducing Corbin to normal life. Gotta make the best out of what you’ve got! Good luck :)

Jenn - August 18, 2010 - 7:24 pm

I was just having a conversation with another mom today about our kids and schedules. We were both wondering if we were screwing up big time because our little guys used to have strict schedules and now they don’t. I can tell you that we had Brady on a pretty strict schedule (bedtime and naptime) until Ella got here. It was nice to have a routine and that is important for kids. However, we missed out on a lot of events and activities because we would not want to mess up his schedule. With two kids, we don’t have the option to be that strict (and keep our sanity), so we just set goals…like to have Brady in bed by 9 and to make sure he naps if he wakes up before 10. Yes, he does sleep in until 10 sometimes and I am not crazy enough to wake him up! So, I think as long as you have a relative schedule that you are okay with adapting to your day, you will all be happy.

Rachel Faris - August 18, 2010 - 5:18 pm

Welcome to motherhood, and the challenges that come with it! Corbin will find a great routine in no time. Fortunately for you, it sounds like he’s sleeping great at night, which is one of the most sought after goals for any new parent! It’s quite possible that if he’s sleeping so great at night, that he may not be tired enough to nap every day. You may want to confirm the total number of hours your pediatrician recommends that he sleeps in a 24 hour period, and see about splitting the time up between sleeping all night and implementing a nap during the day. Some kids just don’t nap, and maybe he doesn’t want to miss out on all of the fun time with you by taking a nap :). What you’re touching on here is something I still struggle with, which is finding the appropriate “balance” between being productive at work, being productive at home, spending quality time with your child, spending quality time with your spouse and spending quality time for yourself. Unfortunately, from my experience, this “balance” is unattainable. There is a perception out there that some people have it, and they don’t. If they tell you that they do, they’re lying! :) You only have so much energy, capacity, time, etc., in a day, and you will probably have to pick and choose how you will be spending your time. For me, I keep my weekends sacred to spend with my family. Yes, I try to run some errands and catch up on laundry, but it doesn’t rule my weekend. This means I can’t really ever get all of my laundry done, but I’ve learned to be okay with it. I also decided to pay to have someone clean my house every 2 weeks, so I didn’t feel like that was cutting into my family time. It’s well worth it and not as expensive as one might think! You all will find out what works well for your family, and I think that having a routine for Corbin will help you all out, but strict schedules can be pretty limiting. I think Elle is as well-rounded as she is because of our crazy, busy, lifestyle!

Jill - August 18, 2010 - 5:10 pm

So here’s my two cents. Leo’s never really had a “schedule” per se… just predictable patterns that he would fall into but switch up on his own accord every now and again. However, to make his schedule fit your life a little more, you do have some flexibility as far as adjusting feeding and nap times little by little each day. That is how we came to Leo’s bedtime being set at btwn. 7:30-8. Obviously that’s not set in stone. Sometimes we’ll go do things together as a family and maybe he won’t go to bed until 9 or 10. You definitely have some pull in the schedule area, but just like anything, it doesn’t have to be set in stone, nor will Corbin keep it set in stone. So breath! You’re doing a great job, and you can make Corbin’s bedtime earlier if you want (a process that will take a few days) so that you can go to bed with Donny!

melanie - August 18, 2010 - 4:14 pm

i feel ya to the tee! nori has actually put herself on a schedule. it just kinda works out that shes tired and hungry at the same times each day. but i dont plan around it. the beauty of breastfeeding…wherever u are, shes hungry, you feed her! but i used to wonder if id be more productive if she was routined, it just kinda worked itself out.:) the older he gets, the more he’ll set his own sched. thats my 2cents. :)

Annie - August 18, 2010 - 4:11 pm

As a momma with babies on schedules I think it’s vital. hahah But ask Andrea and she will tell you otherwise. It’s nice knowing what time the girls go down, when they wake up and what is the best time to go out and not have meltdowns. We are still working on Lou’s schedule, but I watch their signals and follow. It’s not strict, and I never wake them up. They wake up around 7:30 eat around 8:30. Lay down around 9:30 or 10 wake up between 11- 12. They eat around 12:30 then they have a snack around 3 Edie is down for a second nap around 3:30. She wakes up between 4:30 and 5. We all eat around 5:30 and they are down by 8 at the latest. If there was an event we might try to stay out a little later than normal, but most times we end up regretting that choice. I think having kids on a schedule provides the structure they need and makes them a happier baby. And schedules change all the time depending on their age, but I say give it a try. (sorry, this is really long. haha)

Katy - August 18, 2010 - 4:09 pm

Kelly I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I think people get too stressed out about having strict schedules and it ends up making things more complicated and a lot less fun for the whole family. While it’s good to do some things regularly, you still have to do what’s best for you guys, and no one knows that except you guys. As a mom of 3, I’ve just found that it’s easier to adapt to a baby, than to have a baby adapt to you. When he’s hungry- you know, when he’s tired-you know, and obviously he’s a bright healthy baby who seems to be thriving. For me, I like having a nap schedule just so I know when my little ones are going to sleep at night, get up in the morning, and sleep during the day and I somewhat plan around that, but every day is definitely not the same and we all adapt. And we didn’t have a sleep schedule at all until our kids were probably around 6-9 months, and then it just seemed like they came up with a schedule for themselves. So I definitely wouldn’t worry about it-you’re a great mom and no matter what, you have to do what’s best for your family-schedule or not. Thanks!

Rachel Heinbaugh - August 18, 2010 - 4:08 pm

Hey! Sounds to me like you are doing it right! With Jamin we are fairly strict on bedtime, because he isn’t a big napper but that didn’t happen till 4 months. But from what you said of your routing so far, seems like you are very intune to his needs and are making sure he is eating and sleeping on cue which is most important!!!! I don’t think strict schedule is as important as routines so he knows to expect when naps will happen and for transitions. But a lot of that happens almost naturally the older they get! Keep up the great work!!!!!

Jul 13 2010

Letters to Corbin: 3 months

5 comments

Dear Corbin,

I never knew how much I could love until you arrived, nor how fulfilled my life would be as I take on the new role of mother. You have made our lives better in every way and my heart melts to pieces every time you flash me one of your million watt smiles. I love you so much it hurts sometimes…

One thing that has surprised me a little is how easy and natural the adjustment to motherhood has been for me. From the time you were born, you have been a relatively easy, laid back baby and I’m sure that has helped more than I know. But even during the difficult times, I have never felt too crazy or super stressed and I am very thankful for that and can only pray that my patience level grows with you :)

I will say that you have already mastered two of the most important things in life: eating and sleeping. The doctor is thrilled that you have grown about 4 inches and gained almost 6 pounds since you were born and I am thrilled that you have been sleeping through the night since you were 8 weeks old! Although in some ways I miss the first couple weeks of your life when I pretty much lived on the couch and the only place you slept was on my chest, you slept in your big boy crib for the first time when you were 6 weeks old and have been there ever since. It is the cutest thing in the world to watch you sleep…especially when you have your little thumb in your mouth :)

And yes, you have been a belly sleeper since day 1 even though “they” say that is a no-no these days. You HATE to be on your back except to get your diaper changed, which makes the car seat your worst enemy. The fact that you hate your car seat makes things a little difficult at times, so we just cruise with the windows down and the music cranked up most of the time. You are content to shop in the baby bjorn and sit on our laps in restaurants, so we make do just fine. We are taking you on your first road trip to Gatlinburg at the end of the month, though, and I am hoping we will survive the 6 hour ride without pulling all of our hair out :)

Since I have been off work, we have made it a habit to go for a walk almost every day. You don’t take in the views much because you fall asleep almost as soon as you get in your stroller, but at least you are very entertaining to the passersby who always giggle and comment about your little booty in the air.

I have to say you get it honest, though.

Watching your development has been absolutely amazing! You are 3 days shy of being 3 months old and you have changed so much. You don’t look quite as much like your Pappy as you did when you were first born and are starting to look a little more like my baby pictures.

One thing we know for sure is that you already have gorgeous blue eyes and disgustingly long eyelashes that are going to drive the girls crazy!

Case in point:

You are already very strong and active. Every morning when I get you up, I find you on the other side of your crib with your covers kicked off. Now you have even figured out how to flip yourself over onto your back, but you are not always amused by this since you can’t get yourself back onto your belly yet.

Although you tolerate your swing, it is definitely not your favorite because it confines you kind of like your car seat does – you would much rather be bouncing around in your jumper or chillin’ on the couch like a big boy.

At least you still enjoy one kind of confinement – being held. You are super cuddly and I’m pretty sure you would be happy if you were held all day long. I’m not complaining, though! I only hope you don’t outgrow your cuddly nature.

(photo by Andrea Boettcher)

You are quite the star of the show wherever you go – especially on your daddy’s side of the family since you are the first great grandchild and first baby on that side of the family in 25 years.

Probably your biggest adventure (aside from being born) so far has been going swimming. You have grown to like the bath and really enjoy it when we spray you with the hand held sprayer in the shower, so we figured you would like the pool and we were right. I even dunked you underwater and you didn’t mind one bit!

I have to admit that sometimes we laugh at you when you cry because you make the cutest, funniest faces! Here is one of your classics…

…we much prefer when you look like this, though :)

Happy 3 months little man!

Love,

your mama

5 comments

May 14 2010

Life in the Slow Lane

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I cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since Corbin was born!! Just like everyone said it would, the time really is flying by and I can’t imagine our lives without him. I have to admit, though, I am still getting used to the slow, quiet days. I am the type of person who is always on the go and whenever I had free time, I always filled it doing something productive. This is one of my greatest strengths, but also my biggest weakness. I do not know how to relax, I struggle with prioritizing “fun” over other things I thought needed to get done, and I thrive on the high I get from a completed to-do list. Yes I know – TOTALLY LAME!!

Having a baby is definitely teaching me how to slow down, savor each and every moment, and re-evaluate what I think is most important. It has not been easy, though! Being off work makes me feel like I need to be super woman when it comes to cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. on top of taking care of Corbin. The other day I tried 3 different times to make it to the grocery store, and I swear Corbin knew every time what I was up to and decided he would scream his head off until we went back home. I got so frustrated, but as soon as I got home and he snuggled up to me and instantly got quiet, my frustration melted and I decided that nothing was more important that day than just holding my baby while he slept. It has been hard being “ok” with the fact that I did nothing but hang out with my baby certain days, but I am so thankful that I have this precious time to spend with him.

It really is hard to stay frustrated with this sweet face for more than a few seconds :)

6 comments

May 03 2010

Corbin’s Birth Story

12 comments

Even though everything about my labor & delivery was totally different than what I was expecting, I couldn’t have asked for a better birth experience…

For the full story, I have to backtrack to when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. Those of you who know me or who follow this blog know that is when I first started complaining about the swelling in my legs & ankles. As the weeks went on, my swelling got progressively worse, but my doctor was not concerned about it because my blood pressure & urine samples were excellent. Well…that lasted until my 37 week appointment when my blood pressure spiked and I had traces of protein in my urine. Those two symptoms combined with my severe edema were cause for concern because I was on my way to developing pre-eclampsia and I was told that if it was determined that I did have it, induction was the only option. I was immediately scared when I heard the word “induce” because I thought that if my labor was induced, I would not be able to have the natural birth I had been planning.

Also at my 37 week appointment, I was already 2cm dilated and 90% effaced, so I prayed that I would keep progressing and go into labor naturally. During the next 2 weeks, I had to go through a couple different tests as well as have an ultrasound to check on the baby. The ultrasound looked great and that made me a little more at ease because if I was induced, I knew the baby would be ready. I did keep progressing and was 4cm at my 39 week appointment, but I was definitely not in active labor. I was thankful that I got that far with essentially no pain, though! My mom took me to my 39 week appointment and suggested I bring my hospital bag with us because she was certain my doctor would send me straight to the hospital to be induced after the appointment. I honestly thought she was crazy, but I packed my bag anyway and we were on our way.

Donny met us at the appointment and we discussed options with my doctor. Although he did not pressure me, my doctor said that he thought the best option was to go ahead and induce me. My mom (who used to be a nurse & midwife) agreed and although I was still super nervous, I felt ok with this decision because I really trust my doctor and my mom. I did express that I did not want to be induced with pitocin or any other medications, and since I was 4cm dilated, my doctor thought that if he just broke my water that would probably be enough to launch me into active labor. So, sure enough, I was sent straight to the hospital just like my mom suspected. Donny went home to pack his bag and get the car seat and made it back to the hospital before my doctor arrived.

The drive from the doctor’s office to the hospital was so surreal. I could not believe that I was going to have my baby that day or the day after! I was not mentally or emotionally prepared because throughout my pregnancy, I expected that Donny and I would be home when my labor started. I thought that we would be creating a relaxing atmosphere with music and candles and maybe even a bath until it was time to go to the hospital. I thought that I would bake cookies until my contractions got too intense that I couldn’t concentrate anymore. I thought it would be just like all the natural birth videos we watched…but God obviously had other plans.

My mom and I arrived to the hospital around 3:30pm. I got checked in and we played cards while we waited for my doctor to get there. I made phone calls to our family to tell them the news, but I told them not to rush up to the hospital because at that point my water wasn’t even broken yet and we thought it would still be awhile even after that happened. Well, the family was too excited to wait and Donny’s parents along with Jenny & Dan made it to the hospital before my doctor did! My doctor finally arrived and broke my water at 6:15pm and I started having contractions within 15 minutes, but they were not very strong. I continued to play cards, but by about 7:15pm, my contractions grew too strong for me to concentrate on the game. Donny and I walked the halls for a few minutes, but walking wasn’t very comfortable, so we went back to the room and I sat on the birthing ball for the next couple of hours. Donny stayed by my side the entire time and massaged my back. He was so encouraging and calm and I couldn’t even imagine going through this experience without him.

The time between when my contractions first started until I started pushing is somewhat of a blur. My contractions progressed so fast and I got really overwhelmed and a little scared. I was expecting my labor to take at least 12 hours and I thought my contractions would start at 10 minutes apart and gradually grow closer together. Well, my contractions started at about 5 minutes apart and within an hour or two, they were less than 1 minute apart. I was not getting a break to re-group between my contractions and I got scared that I was not going to have any energy left to push when that time came. About 1/2 hour before I started pushing, I reached my breaking point and thought I needed an epidural. My mom suggested that the nurse check me and I was 8cm at that point, so I was told it was too late for an epidural. I was actually glad to hear that because 1) I never planned on getting an epidural and really didn’t want one, and 2) I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would meet my son.

I honestly don’t even know when my doctor got there, but it wasn’t very long after I got checked that I transitioned and felt the urge to push. Once I started pushing, I felt so relieved! Pushing was SO much better than the contractions for me because with each push, I was getting closer to bringing our son into the world and I wasn’t as concentrated on the pain as I was during my contractions. Don’t get me wrong, pushing was hard work – but I had Donny, my mom, my mother-in-law, Jenny, my friend Weina, and Jenny’s friend Amber there encouraging me to get one more push in with each contraction. My mom also played the role of my doula and it was so special to go through this experience with her by my side. She had both my brother and I naturally (my brother was even born at home), so she was a huge advocate for natural birth and such a great encouragement for me. My doctor was absolutely great and pretty much sat back and relaxed until it was time to catch Corbin as he came out. Donny was actually able to stand next to my doctor and video tape the whole birth and I am so thankful that we have a record of the birth. I did have a mirror, but it was still hard to see what was actually going on, so it was really cool to watch the video the next day.

After only 5 hours of labor and 1 hour of pushing, little Corbin Jacob was born at 12:04am on April 15 and the minute he was placed in my arms was the most amazing feeling in the world! I couldn’t believe that the wait was over and he was really truly in my arms. I was instantly in love and didn’t want to do anything other than hold him & stare at him. I was able to breastfeed right away and I cherished those precious moments of bonding that we had before he was taken to be weighed and cleaned up. Our little old man weighed in at 7 lbs, 14 oz and was 20.5″ long.

I [surprisingly] felt so great and was on such an emotional high immediately after he was born. It was so great to have our families there to celebrate with us and so fun to see everyone’s reactions to the newest family member. I am truly thankful that I had a great pregnancy, that I was able to have the natural birth we desired, and that we now have a healthy baby boy as a result :) We are so incredibly blessed!

12 comments

melanie - May 6, 2010 - 10:33 am

so glad it went so awesome. (so jealous!) you are incredibly blessed and corbin is beautiful. i couldnt be happier for you.

Jess - May 5, 2010 - 12:29 am

What a beautiful story. I just love reading these… and can’t wait to see how my own birth story unfolds.

Jenn - May 4, 2010 - 9:47 pm

What an awesome story! Corbin is so blessed to have you and Donny as parents. I am so glad that you were able to have him naturally and you are my hero for it :)

Felisha - May 4, 2010 - 6:31 am

I’m so glad you wrote about your birth story. You did a great job! I’m so happy for you guys.

Sara Plays House - May 3, 2010 - 11:58 pm

Amazing! I’m so glad you got the birth experience you wanted and he’s nursing well for you. :) I miss that time!
Congratulations to you!

Allison - May 3, 2010 - 10:44 pm

Your birth story is so beautiful. You rock. I love the pictures of Donny by your side during labor…such a beautiful image of you guys and your marriage–Made me tear up.

jess@studio3z - May 3, 2010 - 10:23 pm

Kelly, I loved your story so much and I am so happy you had such a beautiful birth experience. Your photos are gorgeous, and seeing both of your adorable families there and the joy in their eyes…just precious. :) I really love the photo of you and your Dad because I think there is something so special when a Dad sees his own baby girl having their own babies!

Corbin is a doll. Can’t wait to meet him!

erin hull - May 3, 2010 - 7:48 pm

What a beautiful story Kelly! SO great that you were induced naturally and were able to birth naturally, way to go girl!! And don’t worry, about 8 cm, A LOT of us are begging for an epidural!

Elaine - May 3, 2010 - 6:31 pm

That was beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story and your beautiful pictures!

Kt - May 3, 2010 - 6:03 pm

I love reading birth stories – and like even more reading about natural births! So, so awesome! Love all the pictures. Congrats mama!

Taylor - May 3, 2010 - 6:02 pm

oh. my. gosh. i have never cried at a birthing-blog story before now. geez! i’m so happy for you! it sounds like you had an excellent experience and i’m glad that it seemed to go smoothly and that he was healthy and happy upon his arrival! CONGRATS! :)

Annie - May 3, 2010 - 5:14 pm

You are so blessed to have been able to deliver naturally. I’ve struggled so much with the fact that natural deliveries are not God’s plan for me. I suppose I still struggle with it – because of my own emotions and because of those who judge me for it. All of that makes it even more wonderful to see that His plan for you was to go naturally – similar to the plan you had for yourself. I wish we could have been there for Corbin’s first hours, but I guess God had other plans for that, too. = ) We’re so happy for you guys and I can’t wait to watch our kids play in the coming years.

p.s. I’d love to see the photo you took of Donny holding Corbin! It’s great that you had your camera out! People gave me such a hard time for taking pictures from my hospital bed, but they’re some of my favorites from those hospital stays… It’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one! = )

Apr 27 2010

He’s Here + Stiletto Award

9 comments

I am alive and trying to get back to blogging!! As you may have guessed, I AM A MOM!!! We welcomed little Corbin Jacob Smith into the world at 12:04am on April 15 and the last 12 days have been a whirlwind of blessings. We are so happy that our little boy is finally here and we are loving every minute we get to spend with him. I have been trying to get his birth story along with pictures posted for a week now and time has just gotten away from me. HOPEFULLY I will have both posted in the next day or so. Until then, here is my favorite picture of him so far (Donny took this while we were still in the hospital and he was less than 12 hours old):

Also, a big thanks to Kat @ I Play It By Year for granting me a Stiletto Award!!

What is a Stiletto Award???

There are thousands of blogs, and there are hundreds of awards. The Stiletto Award is a little different than most!

The Stiletto Award Is For Excellence in Blogging!

I want to salute the women who balance life, family & relationships with style & class! Those women who share their experiences with us…who encourage us, inspire us, teach us, make us laugh and basically keep us going! You know who they are! While you read this blog, your family is looking at you wondering what the heck you are laughing about so hard…or why the tissue is necessary for internet browsing. It’s the one that the kids are excited about cuz a new post means a new craft project or family outing. The one that inspires you to be a better mom, friend, person in general. The one that reminds you that we are all “in this life together” and you’re not the only one going through the hard stuff. The one that you secretly wish your blog was like…

If you’ve received this award, someone out there thinks you deserve it! Be proud! Display the badge with honor! You earned it…after all it means that you brought something special to at least one other person, and really, isn’t that what life’s all about????

THE RULES!

This blog is meant to be shared, to be given out, to be bestowed upon any and ALL women who exemplify what the stiletto represents. If you’ve received this award, here’s what you do:

1. Display your Stiletto Badge of Honor on your sidebar! Wear it with pride!

2. BRAG ABOUT IT
3. SAY THANKS
4. SHARE THE LOVE
5. DO WHAT YOU DO…keep at it. Keep inspiring and encouraging and sharing your life! We love it and we thank you!!!

And to pass on the love, here are the moms I would like to pass the award on to:

1. Elaine @ Junk DNA

2. Sara @ Sara Plays House

3. Taylor @ Chasing Conviction

4. Mikki Roo @ Between Loads of Laundry

9 comments