You Make Me Live

Well we found out on December 19th that we are having another BOY! I have to admit that I was a little sad at first. All throughout this pregnancy I’ve had a feeling it was a girl, but I think that was just because I was hoping & praying for a girl this time. I absolutely LOVE having Corbin and really wanted a boy first, so I was thrilled when he turned out to be a boy…but I always pictured myself with one of each. Maybe its because almost everyone in our families who have more than 1 child have at least one of each…or maybe its just because that’s how it was for me growing up. I am the oldest and my biological brother is 13 months younger and my adopted brother is 5 years younger. Who knows!

I am super close to my mom and I definitely want to be able to have the same kind of special mother/daughter relationship with my own daughter some day. Not to say that there isn’t something super special between mothers & sons (because there definitely is and I feel that with Corbin), but it is just different. But who am I to say that it can’t be just as good? The mother/daughter relationship is all I know, so that’s all I can relate to right now I suppose. Donny is very close to his mom (and his whole family for that matter), so I just hope & pray that we are able to raise our family the same way and I don’t end up with a son who moves across the country and never calls him mama. Haha! He can move – he just needs to stay in touch – OFTEN:)

Enough on that tangent though! Even though I have a couple stupid, superficial fears of how our relationship will be when my boys get older, I know where they are rooted and I know they are not from God. I can now honestly with 100% of my heart say that I am beyond excited to be having another boy. To my surprise, the sadness I felt was so short-lived and I’m thankful for that. Obviously God is putting another boy in our lives for a reason, so I am completely OK with that. And more importantly, I am incredibly thankful that this little boy is totally healthy so far…especially after the losses we have had this year.

Growing up I always wanted a sister and although I do not have a biological sister, I am fortunate to have Weina who I have considered my sister since she came to live with us my junior year (her senior year) of high school. Before Weina, I was a big sister to a little girl my parents fostered for just over a year. When times were good (which unfortunately were fairly short-lived with her) I loved being a big sister to her…but it wasn’t quite the same as having a sister closer to my age. Sharing a room with Weina for 3 years before we both moved out in college are some of my fondest memories. Now we are both married with 1 child and another on the way and we are still as close as ever. Being adults with busy lives & lots of responsibilities doesn’t allow us to see each other as often as we wish, but she still is and will always be a part of our family.

Having had the experience of having a sister for the past 12 years, I know how special that relationship is as well and I am super excited that Corbin will have that with his little brother. I think he is going to be such a great big brother and we hope that the spacing (it will be almost exactly 2 years) will be perfect. I am such a sap these days that I can’t even think about watching and encouraging their bond without getting teary-eyed

Side note: I know this post sounds all final like we aren’t having any more kids or there is no hope for a girl, but that isn’t necessarily the case. Ever since I can remember (I was 7 when we adopted my youngest brother), I have always wanted to adopt and have felt that calling. Donny is totally on board, but I knew I wanted to have at least 1 or 2 biological kids before pursuing that option if possible. So…if that is God’s will for us – and we sure hope it is – at least 1 more child will be in our future (years down the road though probably). Maybe that child will be a little girl…maybe not. I will leave that in God’s hands