Yesterday at church, Ryan talked about how we spend our time and encouraged us to learn how to use it wisely. Whenever this subject comes up, I instantly feel guilty. I feel guilty because of how much time I spend working. I have a full-time day job and then come home and edit photos, catch up on invoices & bills, burn CDs, or clean my house on nights when I don’t have standing commitments like photo shoots, my small group, or Creative Team for church. There is rarely an evening when I don’t have something planned, and if the evening is open, it is often taken up by work of some kind.
A couple years ago, I took the Strengths Finder test and learned that one of my top strengths was “Achiever”. The short and sweet description of this strength is that “people strong in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.” The book explains that I basically have a deep inner need to accomplish something every day and I feel defeated if that doesn’t happen. This really opened my eyes and made a lot of sense but I have yet to learn how to find a healthy balance in my life.
In one way I love that I am very driven and not afraid of hard work and on the other hand I hate it.
When I started my photography business back in February 2007, I really had no idea how much work it was going to be. I decided to start the business while I still had a full-time job elsewhere so I would not go into debt accumulating all of my equipment, paying for equipment & liability insurance, taxes, and all of the other expenses that go into starting a business. The fact that I do not take a paycheck from Daphne Photo Studio has been really beneficial as far as money is concerned, but I had no idea how much TIME I would be investing on top of my other job. The time I have and continue to invest in my business definitely takes away time from my husband, from my other family, and from God.
There have been many times when I have been so overwhelmed and questioned why I ever thought starting a business was a good idea. During those times, I am reminded of my ultimate goal and reason why: photography is my passion and is what I love to do. I am a big believer that if at all possible, you should try to love your job because you have to spend so much of your life there anyway. So my ultimate goal is to somehow turn my photography business into a non-profit and be able to give back and help people all while using the talents and passion God has blessed me with. I have some ideas brewing and I do not know exactly how that will look in the future, but I trust that all of those details will iron out when the time is right.
Even though I know I am working towards the bigger goal of having freedom over my schedule which will in turn will allow me to be more available to my family and to God, I still struggle with the guilt. I do not always want to be working for the future. God needs me now. My family needs me now. My friends need me now. Unfortunately, we are not guaranteed the future nor can we get back the past.
I am starting small, but I have a few goals that will hopefully help me find that balance I so desperately need. Ryan pointed out that how we use our time equates to what our life is about to those around us. I definitely do not want those around me thinking I’m a workaholic who puts her business before God or her family!
Speaking of family, here are a few pictures of my cousins from Texas when they came up for a visit to surprise my mom for her 50th birthday in September. I was going through the photos to send them a CD last night and decided to post a few because I love this little girl so much!
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