This past weekend I had a really bad day…it was one of those days where everything was going wrong and one thing seemed to have a domino effect on the other. I had to spend my whole “free” day (which never happens) remedying all of the things that were going wrong and before I knew it, the day was over. The fact that I felt like my whole day was wasted just made me more upset because I rarely get much free time to myself and I had been looking forward to that time all week. Donny was not home all day – which was probably a good thing because my pregnancy hormones were making me extra emotional and made every little thing seem bigger and more annoying.
Fast forward a few days and I feel SUPER guilty for letting myself get upset by things that were not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. There I was wasting time feeling sorry for myself when I should be investing time in things that really matter…like what I can do to help the people of Haiti …or how I can help my church raise money to buy the building we are renting…or catching up with friends and family I haven’t talked to in awhile…or spending time with God…and the list goes on and on.
Do you ever feel guilty for having a good life? I know that may seem like such a crazy question, but I struggle with that a lot if I’m being perfectly honest. My life is very blessed…I have a Savior who loves me, an amazing husband, two great families, the best friends a girl could ask for, a house, a car, a good job, the perfect dog, and now I have been blessed with a baby boy who will be welcomed into this world before I know it.
It is not fair that I’m “living the good life” while at the same time being surrounded by friends and family who are dealing with really hard things like cancer, serious health issues, divorce, depression, sexual assault, infertility, job loss, debt, family problems, death, etc. I often wonder what the world would be like if those of us who didn’t have as many issues could literally take some of the burden away from others who seem to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Then things would be more fair and even and maybe the world would be a better place?
I hate feeling of being helpless, though. I tend to be a dreamer and a lot of the ideas I come up with are not even remotely feasible. I am the type who wishes I was able to adopt all of the displaced children of Haiti and provide a safe and secure life for them rather than donate money to one of the many Haiti relief organizations. Or I wish there was a way that my healthy cells could cure the cancer cells rather than feeling like all I can do is pray and cook meals for the sick people in my life.
Don’t get me wrong…I am extremely thankful for the blessings in my life…I just wish life was more fair. I wish I could really do more to save the world…or at least do more to help the people in my life that need it. I need to learn to not feel guilty for the blessings in my life and instead figure out new ways to use them to help the people I love.
9 comments