my thoughts, hopes, & dreams

Welcome to my Blog!

Hi, I'm Kelly, and this little online journal of mine will chronicle my thoughts, hopes, and dreams along with my personal journey through life since finding out I was going to be a mom. I work part-time as an accounting assistant and I also own my own photography business - Daphne Photo Studio. Photography is my passion and will someday be my only job...someday. My life is crazy busy and even though I complain about how overwhelmed I am at times, I love every minute of it.

I am a total sucker for keepsakes and I think I know why. My parents have always been good at documenting my life growing up with home movies, pictures, and keeping little things like ticket stubs, my kindergarten art projects, and even my teeth (I know that is kinda gross!). I am the exact same way and in the short 3-1/2 years that Donny and I have been married, I have managed to fill an entire 20 gallon tupperware bin to the brim with our keepsakes! Every now and then, we love to haul that bin out and go back through old notes & pictures and reminisce. I get so emotional (in a good way) every time we do.

When I was younger, I used to love to journal and was able to stay disciplined enough to keep up with it. Well, that ended when I started college and life started passing me by at warp speed. It seemed like the minute I hit adulthood, I became so busy I couldn't even think straight at times and it seems that this trend has pretty much followed me ever since.

My grandma (who is in her 80's) still journals and I really admire her for that. In fact, my grandparents just finished and published part 1 of their life story in a book! For my birthday this past July, my grandma read me a couple journal entries she had written from when I was young and she took me out for my birthday. It was so neat to remember those days and hear her perspective of what it was like shopping with a 12 year old.

My goal has always been to get back into journaling, and finding out we are pregnant has been the motivation I needed to stop talking about it and just do it. I want to be able to write about my pregnancy and all of the fun, crazy, scary aspects that go with it. I want to be able to write about random thoughts and share everyday stories about my life so I will remember these times and be able to share them with my child someday. I didn't feel like my Daphne Photo Studio blog was the appropriate place to do this, so I created this blog to serve as my personal journal. I am so excited to start writing and plan to post way more often than I do on DPS because posting here doesn't involve editing pictures for every post!

I am totally crazy about my husband Donny, our precious son Corbin, and our incredibly spoiled dog Opie. Thanks so much for stopping by!

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Feb 26 2010

32 weeks

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How far along? 32 weeks (8 months!)
Total weight gain: up 25 lbs since pre-pregnancy…I am pretty sure that each of my legs weighs 20 lbs because they sure are holding onto that water!! Donny says I no longer have “cankles” (ankles that are so swollen that they blend into your calves) but I have “cighs” because my whole calf is swollen to the point that my knees are disappearing! Other than my hands, I don’t seem to have swelling anywhere else, so I guess I should just be thankful I can somewhat hide my tree trunks.
Sleep: starting to need more of it lately…I can definitely tell that my body is wearing out more easily and that the “honeymoon” stage of the 2nd trimester is officially over
Best moments this week: 1) we started the nursery & the painting is finished! 2) I finished sewing his crib quilt…which is quite an accomplishment for me because I am NOT very good at sewing…my goal is to greatly improve in the near future, though :) It has some definite imperfections, but good thing he won’t care :)
Food cravings: milk & Chipotle
Gender: BOY!!
What I miss: jeans!! The maternity jeans I had that I was waiting to grow into are still annoyingly uncomfortable because they fall down all the time and I can’t find any others that I like because I’m picky about jeans anyway. So I pretty much live in leggings, and although they are super comfortable, I can’t wait to get back into my jeans and have some more outfit options :)
What I am looking forward to: our first shower next week!
Milestones: no real milestones this week…I do have to start having bi-weekly doctor’s appointments now…I guess that’s something.

From BabyCenter:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You’re gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, he’ll gain a third to half of his birth weight during the next 7 weeks as he fattens up for survival outside the womb. He now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). His skin is becoming soft and smooth as he plumps up in preparation for birth.

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Feb 21 2010

We Started The Nursery!

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Thanks to both grandmas and Aunt Jenny we now have a beautifully painted nursery just waiting to be filled be lots of cute baby stuff :) It is so exciting to finally have some color on those walls! This room has always been just a catch all kind of guest room…except for when it had a short life as Jenny’s bedroom. We never decorated this room because we really just didn’t have a reason to and we never really had furniture to put in it anyway. I guess when we moved in 4 years ago we always figured it would be a nursery at some point, we just never knew when. Now that the time has come, I’m glad we never decorated it before because the basically empty room and white walls sure made it easy to start turning it into an official nursery.

After going back and forth about colors, we decided to paint all the walls a warm gray and I am so happy we did because I LOVE the way the color turned out! The furniture and textiles we have for the room will really “pop” against these walls.

(Check out my mom’s super handy step ladder[s] that she made the night before)

Our baby is so lucky to have these two hot mamas for grandmas!!

While they were painting, I tackled a little project of my own. I was on the lookout for a vintage rocking chair to match our “vintage-looking” crib and Craiglist came through again! I found this rocking chair advertised for $20, but was able to get for only $10 because the seat was damaged and the lady selling it didn’t realize it was broken because she had it stuffed in the back of her shed for so long. My dad was able to easily repair the seat with some scrap wood and now that it is painted, you would never know it was damaged. After 1 coat of primer and 3 coats of paint, my rocking chair is finished and I think it is one of my favorite pieces of furniture in our whole house!

I did a photo shoot of my friend’s little guy today and he got to officially break the chair [and the freshly painted nursery] in!

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Feb 12 2010

Confession

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This past weekend I had a really bad day…it was one of those days where everything was going wrong and one thing seemed to have a domino effect on the other. I had to spend my whole “free” day (which never happens) remedying all of the things that were going wrong and before I knew it, the day was over. The fact that I felt like my whole day was wasted just made me more upset because I rarely get much free time to myself and I had been looking forward to that time all week. Donny was not home all day – which was probably a good thing because my pregnancy hormones were making me extra emotional and made every little thing seem bigger and more annoying.

Fast forward a few days and I feel SUPER guilty for letting myself get upset by things that were not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. There I was wasting time feeling sorry for myself when I should be investing time in things that really matter…like what I can do to help the people of Haiti …or how I can help my church raise money to buy the building we are renting…or catching up with friends and family I haven’t talked to in awhile…or spending time with God…and the list goes on and on.

Do you ever feel guilty for having a good life? I know that may seem like such a crazy question, but I struggle with that a lot if I’m being perfectly honest. My life is very blessed…I have a Savior who loves me, an amazing husband, two great families, the best friends a girl could ask for, a house, a car, a good job, the perfect dog, and now I have been blessed with a baby boy who will be welcomed into this world before I know it.

It is not fair that I’m “living the good life” while at the same time being surrounded by friends and family who are dealing with really hard things like cancer, serious health issues, divorce, depression, sexual assault, infertility, job loss, debt, family problems, death, etc. I often wonder what the world would be like if those of us who didn’t have as many issues could literally take some of the burden away from others who seem to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Then things would be more fair and even and maybe the world would be a better place?

I hate feeling of being helpless, though. I tend to be a dreamer and a lot of the ideas I come up with are not even remotely feasible. I am the type who wishes I was able to adopt all of the displaced children of Haiti and provide a safe and secure life for them rather than donate money to one of the many Haiti relief organizations. Or I wish there was a way that my healthy cells could cure the cancer cells rather than feeling like all I can do is pray and cook meals for the sick people in my life.

Don’t get me wrong…I am extremely thankful for the blessings in my life…I just wish life was more fair. I wish I could really do more to save the world…or at least do more to help the people in my life that need it. I need to learn to not feel guilty for the blessings in my life and instead figure out new ways to use them to help the people I love.

(The picture above was taken on top of one of the cliffs Donny and I hiked in Red River Gorge this past July. The peace sign was one of many interesting things we found carved into the rocks up there).

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Emily - February 19, 2010 - 11:33 am

Love your site!

Kim at Yellow Brick Home - February 17, 2010 - 11:49 am

miss kelly, i love you and miss you.

also, you’re allowed to have a bad day. don’t give yourself so much guilt for a perfectly normal, healthy feeling.

andrea - February 15, 2010 - 7:39 pm

This is such a beautiful post. Your baby is lucky to have a mom with such a big heart.

Christy - February 14, 2010 - 6:08 pm

(Hi Kelly, you don’t know me, but I often hit your site cause it makes me smile:))…..The beautiful thing is that Jesus already did everything for this world that we cannot do. God chooses to reveal His glory to people through trials and blessings. Its not our job to fix things, its our job to point people to Christ- the true mediator, protector, healer. He has obviously given you a heart for others that He will use mightily! Congrats on your bundle!

mikki roo - February 13, 2010 - 10:38 pm

I totally know what you’re talking about!! And girl, it does not make it any easier to be pregnant… this hormonal thing can be Nasty! I sometimes feel so guilty that I’m even pregnant & I’ve never had a miscarriage or lost a child in any way… I’ve never lost a parent or sibling, never faced poverty, never had a husband cheat on me or gone through a divorce… I am so very VERY blessed! And yet I complain…

Sara - February 13, 2010 - 9:06 pm

You’re not alone in feeling this way. And yes, it will get even worse when you have a perfect, sweet baby boy looking up into your eyes every day.
Mommy Guilt–it comes in all forms, but I know EXACTLY what you mean.
There’s no cure, but I think you already know the steps to make it easier. :) And it will get a wee bit easier when you don’t have all those extra hormones coursing through your system.

Megan - February 12, 2010 - 10:46 pm

Hi Kelly,

Don’t even remember how I found your site-I know it was through another photographer and I completely admire your work..I have been loving your personal blog now that you found out about your pregnancy. You know what…let yourself just feel any way you want to. I think it is beautiful the thoughts you have about wanting to support others and it sounds like you are thankful for everything you have in your life-but you DESERVE it!!! Don’t ever feel guilty for the blessings you have-you and Donny deserve everything you have in your lives-just take a deep breath and be thankful! When I was younger (like undergrad in college) I felt very guilty about not ever having to “struggle” I felt like I was weaker because of it…I now know this was never the case and I was doing my family a disservice by not apppreciating the hard work my family had done to get me to where I am and just the general support I have in my life.

I’ve rambled on too long already. I really wish you all of the best for your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Living Life to the Fullest… | Among the Realm - March 6, 2010 - 3:34 am

[...] posted a similar post earlier about these same feelings. Read her post titled, feeling guilty for having a good life. A lot of the same emotions she is feeling is also what I am feeling at this point in my [...]

Inspiration for the Day » You Make Me Live - March 5, 2010 - 1:09 pm

[...] know how a few weeks ago I wrote about feeling guilty for having a good life and wishing there was more I could do to save the world? Well let me just say for now that our good [...]

Feb 11 2010

30 weeks

8 comments

How far along? 30 weeks (wow only 10 more to go – crazy!!)
Sleep: I feel like I’m getting prepared for the many nighttime feedings with as many times as I get up to pee!
Best moments this week: 1) I passed my 3 hour glucose test with flying colors 2) We finished registering 3) My mom and I drove to Columbus to see Jason Castro in concert at a small venue (the best way to see concerts in my opinion)…and it was awesome!
Food cravings: salads with apple slices
Gender: BOY!!
What I miss: my ankle bones…I can only see them on good days lately
What I am looking forward to: painting the baby’s room next weekend!
Milestones: 75% through my pregnancy!

From BabyCenter:

Your baby’s about 15.7 inches long now, and he weighs almost 3 pounds. A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds him, but that volume will decrease as he gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. His eyesight continues to develop, though it’s not very keen; even after he’s born, he’ll keep his eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them, he’ll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means he can only make out objects a few inches from his face.

Here he is singing with his guitar player and Caitlin Crosby (who was also in concert with him that night).

I have a video of him singing “Hallelujah” that I wanted to post, but I can’t figure out how to right now. When I have time, I will mess with it some more, but if you are just dying to see it, you can check it out HERE.